THE "TRAINING DAY" I DID'NT GET AN OSCAR FOR

After four weeks of sheer and utter boredom, my truncated training manifests its ugly self in a piece of laminated paper worth a measly two credits, and I couldnt be happier.. Even with the benefit of hindsight, I cannot help but say that this trite, hackneyed excercise was an utter sham and all I have to show for it are 5 high scores in a variety of games across two mobiles.. Its time to get back to what the vacation is all about.. Doing nothing all day..

I bid a tear-of-joy-filled adieu to Al Rostamani Technologies and the last few days were as exasperating, perhaps more so than the previous ones. After much discussion and debate, the "expert committee" setup especially to review the report I had submitted suggested that I look at certain major issues with my report, like alignment of text, font size of subheadings, and "wrong word usage''. With all due respect, sir, you are "happy". Peeved at the fact that these know-it-alls were expecting a research paper on the plant from me and were correcting it one word at a time(stage in place of process is grossly unacceptable), I rehashed it and threw it at them again, only to be confronted with the process manual from 1999.

"I need you to incorporate this manual in your report", a committee member said.

"But sir, I looked at it and I dont need to".

"It will help you in you viva"

"Thank you sir, but I don't have viva".The only thing remaining for me to say was "go back to 1999 and shove the f****** manual up yours, wastage"..

"Ok, it is upto you". Inconspicuously, a middle finger popped out of my fist that was fortunately hidden in my pocket.1-0 to Rohan.....

Then came the uphill battle to obtain a certificate, a losing one at best...

"Sir, about the certificate"..

"You will get it today"..

(Next day)"Sir, about the certificate"

"It has to be prepared.. I will let you know when to collect it".

(5 mins later)"Sir, about the certificate"..

"Arrey baba, you will be here the whole day no.. I will give it to you"

Pangs of frustration began to hit me and my temple began to swell.. The only thing left was to turn green , sprout muscles and take my rightful place in an Ang Lee film. One more day upto five, and this time I dont even have to count the hourly output!!!!! Something to look forward to??

"Sir, I haven't brought my lunch and I would appreciate a pre-lunch finish"

"If you want to go just go"..Furiously signs my report and stamps it.

The certificate is long forgotten..1-1

I stealthily slip the process manual into my bag and head for the bus stop, my only regret being not able to flick something more worthwhile.. Goodbye and Good riddance.. Somehow, leaving everyone acrimonious doesnt seem wrong at all...

My memory trotted back in time on the bus back from work..All of a sudden this policeman comes into the bus and starts asking for tickets.. Went back to the half drunk Kannadigas on NH-17 bellowing "tits,tits"!!! 1 and a half months and I'll be there!!!

WHAT TRAINING TAUGHT ME (SHOULD HAVE LEFT THIS SECTION BLANK)
1. A 100T press makes more noise than a 63T press.
2. Sitting on a couch playing snake all day is boring.
3. Watching people wire tubelights all day is even more boring.
4. I'm mallu, everyone else except you on this table is mallu, so I shall not speak anything but mallu..How do you say f*** you in mallu??

P.S: As I finish writing this, I stumble on an article on msn proclaiming BITING THE HAND THAT DOESN'T FEED ME: SUMMER INTERNSHIPS ARE A SCAM.... Now you tell me!!!!!!!!!